How pull the genius out from underneath?
How ever be as brilliant?
Plath laying detail after detail neatly onto the pages.
Speaking of personal growth, insercurities, meaninglessness.
But how?
Now must feel as she might have felt about Woolf?
Being drawn to the mystical power of her words, utterly jealous of what she could achieve with blood, sweat & tears...
my vocabulary a baby's first attempt to speak in whole complex sentences.
Feeling so close to the sound, the character of the english language yet the practical use of it devastates me,
shows me I know yet so very little...!
(...)
Me rambling about what could be and is to be while he, goal-focused in the other room, works to get his job done. Something real: to to with structure, mind, technical skills, creativity.
What I lack: presence.
Must overcome lazy self, shut out ego and let ink flow.
No waiting for moments, but embracing each and every ticking of seconds, connect brain with body, be honest and set free: demons.
Virgins, loving mothers, dogs & foxes...the whole forest breathes and pulses, I am too blind to be thrilled, to be touched by greater things than 'I'; my fearful ugly ego, my la-la-lies, and demon dreams..
Must find a way to face reality willingly without neglecting inner prescious world.
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