Oh, hollow world. You ditch me all the time, you lead me to despair. You make me howl at the depths of my longings, for everything I ache for. You leave me lying in the corner of my room, spilling tears, and you rape my ears with construction work outside my window. You erase me blank, empty, worthless, you numb me with horror, analysis, expectations, anonymity.
You don't feel my heart pounding under your weight, my anxiety to confront you.
You roll me over like a bulldozer, you bastard, you powerful chunk of too many particles.
I have a hard time walking straight, steady, keeping track of what I'm doing here, within, under you.
But then again I adore you. There is this gift you gave to me and a long line of humans before me, and now, all at once, I appear, am on your stage and allowed to make my moves.
hamburg, 2009. melodramatic fool.
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