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Some things are too deep to mess with. 

I believe in a true purpose of existence more than in functioning.
When you can't function and are drastically unhappy with what you do, what is even the use of continuing? Noone will take advantage of you wasting your life. Noone will value or benefit from what you're doing desultory. Quit that, you will only grow a garden of wrinkles on your forehead, one that will blossom more with every action you do in grief.
Why not stick your head into what you love instead? Why are people so humble to suffer, and faithless to recognize their potentials? Why are we so stubborn to keep self-doubt and disregard the own true tender voice inside speaking? We love people that are honest about themselves, and therefor, towards others. Right? We respect and admire people who follow their own path with passion, that live for what they are instead of denying and whining about how unfair and unfulfilling life is.
Right? Yet we are so busy practising avoidance of our own wise self, the one that might scare us if we let it pierce through the more benign coating. Our true essence is powerful, it won't allow us to slip backwards once we've entered its meaning.

It will shake us, remind us that, no, we cannot go on making up excuses for our ridicilous lives we never felt we were a part of.
I don't want to end up feeling sorry for myself. I don't want to sail the slopes of suppression, dive into the ocean of blame.
I want to have the courage to find peace in my calling.

I believe that life is often way more simple than we can take.

We make things complicated, we're good in beating everything straight and smooth until it sounds sugary to our ears.
It is not, sometimes. And in fact I like pepper and salt and chili just as much as sugar, I even respect the mold of old bread.
My guts rumble. They're in for the rush of change, the challenge of following through to where I am real,  alive, and connected. They're not willing to be covered up in soft illusions, desperate pretending.

Please, won't you be so kind and consider your calling? What is your deepest desire, the one that you want to devote yourself to with all your heart? Where are you real, what makes you you? If you could choose in this very moment, what would you do with your life, where would you go?
And now, ponder, if the acting out of your urges is not integrated well into your current situation, what is the reason why you're not with yourself, but betraying your heart?
Don't judge the reasons for once, don't get all caught up in confusion and talking yourself out of the matter. Just think, view, breathe, feel. Maybe something will occur to you. Maybe you will feel a sting. That's okay. I feel a sting, too.
It's not a bee's bite, that I can assure you of.
It's life moving all around and through you. That can be very uncomfortable. And very satisfying. It's an invitation, you see.
You are welcomed to leave your own comfort zone, just like that, right now. Sounds scary? It is! But you know what? Leading a life that leaves you empty and absent and everlonging for something else throughout, sounds an awful lot scarier to me! You agree?
So then, won't we be so kind to wake up in time?